Love and Mercy: A memoir
by RandomJayjay
Summary: An extract based on the book in Other Desert Cities called love and Mercy: A memoir. A couple of imagined stories that might be in the book. Inspired by Brooke Wyeths line " What happened to the boy who loved music? Who made me sit between two speakers and memorize every Beach-boy's song?"


Henry loved music. It was probably the very first thing he was passionate about. He came home one day with these huge (or at least huge to me) speakers and hooked them up to the record player. He put on his favorite beach boys album and blasted the sound. It filled the whole house and i put my hands to my ears for protection. He smiled and started singing, grabbing my hands away from my ears and dancing with me. We spun in circles until i was too dizzy and sat down between the speakers. I watched Henry continue to dance and sing and I tried my hardest to remember the words, to make him proud. The long afternoons we spent listening to his records, singing and dancing until Polly and Lyman got home, are some of my favorite memories. His carefree smile, curly blonde hair and awkward dance moves never cease to make me smile and when ever I look back the song 'wouldn't it be nice' is always playing.

That was around the same time Polly started coming home earlier and earlier with little Trip in tow. Turning the music off and ordering silence. It didn't faze Henry though. He just smiled as he packed up his record and then took me by the hand to play out by the pool.

It was about a month of having the speakers and our afternoon concert sessions when we had to give them up. I had learnt all of Henry's favorite song and he beamed his movie star grin at me as he taught me another one. Trip wanted to see what all the fuss was about and why he couldn't join in. He started poking around in the back of the speakers while no one was looking. Henry's job of hooking the speakers up to the record player was sufficient but not safe and Trip found the single loose wire, electrocuting himself. The screams that followed made Henry and I ran inside. I wish we hadn't. I wish we had let them have a little longer to brew. Henry ran in first, the hero that he was, too see what the problem was and figure out how to fix it.  
Lyman was there. " You?" Lyman asked in his booming voice jabbing a finger at Henry.  
" What happened?" Henry asked trying to calm him down. Trips screams continued although they seemed more from shock then pain.  
" He electrocute himself on your goddamned speakers! I want them out of the house!" Polly yelled making Trip scream again.  
" They aren't just my speakers, they are for everyone but I'll take a look and fix whatever electrocute him." Henry said.  
" No, you heard your mother. Get the speakers out!" Lyman boomed.  
" I'll make them safe and put them in my room when we aren't using them." Henry assured them, his hands up as if to say 'don't shoot'.  
That got Polly going." They should have been 'safe' in the first place! If you weren't so stoned all the time you might have-"  
" Says the one who was too busy drinking to watch her own kid!"

The piercing sound of skin on skin resonated through the house.

I peered at them from my spot behind the couch. Henry holding his cheek.  
Lyman furious and yet his eyes full of regret. " Say sorry for disrespecting your mother and then take those speakers out side before I go at them with an axe." Lyman said with controlled menace.  
Henry's face was now a hard mask. He apologized without feeling, lifted and carried the speakers out the door, leaving them close to the house, and walked off to his room.

Trip had stopped crying and Polly was talking to him. " How's your hand?" She asked. Trip didn't say anything, out of fear most likely, and showed her the small spot on the back of his hand.  
" It's fine, It's barley a scratch." Lyman said pouring two drinks.  
" Leave him alone." Polly said taking her drink and holding Trip close. Polly kissed his hand and said " You will be fine. Go play in your room." Trip walked off still holding his hand. I was still kneeling behind the couch shocked when they started talking.  
" Why did you do it Lyman? Were are on the verge of losing him as it is!" Polly said as Lyman sat on the couch with her.  
" I lost my temper. He was just- i couldn't just- I should apologize." Lyman finally said.  
" You know just as well he is mixing with the wrong people. He's becoming more left wing with everyday! Soon he will be involved with those groups that call themselves activist when they are really just lazy terrorists, standing in front of buildings, getting high and chanting, and then he will be gone for good!"Polly said taking another long drink, finishing it.

Lyman had a retort, as he always does but i stopped listening and snuck away to Henry's room. I opened the door, it creaked loudly in the silence. The room was dark and that's when I realized it wasn't quite silent. There was a soft sobbing coming from Henry.  
I walked in and put my hand on his back. He was hunched over with his face in his hands.  
He turned to look at me with tears that seemed odd and out of place on his tanned skin. " Oh Brookie. Its just you."  
" Are you okay?" I asked.  
" No but then we never truly are. We can just live life and hope something will come along that will make us smile." Henry said. I leaned in and hugged him, his hand rubbing my back as if I was the one who was crying.

Trip appeared in the door way.  
" Hey buddy. How's the hand, does it hurt?" Henry asked inviting him inside.  
Trip took a hesitant step, then another. " No, s'okay." Trip said standing next to me.  
" I'm glad you're okay." Henry said hugging him. " I'm really sorry. I should have checked it."  
" S'okay." Trip repeated.  
" Do we really have to get rid of the speakers?" I asked Henry. He smiled fondly and wrapped his free arm around me.  
" Let me tell you something about our mom and dad, they're very opinionated. They like to control things. They have been against the speakers since day one, they just needed a reason to yell about them and get rid of them." Henry said rubbing my shoulder.  
Trip turned out of the hug but Henry's arm was still around him. " I wanted to play too." He said frowning.  
" Cheer up guys." He said shaking our shoulders and making us look at him. His grin was infectious even with the tears on his face. "We can still sing and dance about in my room. We'll be okay."

He sounded so sure. It was then i decide Henry could fix anything. He was so charming and could win anyone over. Well anyone but our parents.

It was about that time henry started going out more. Always with one friend or the other. Polly and Lyman got more and more agitated as the weeks went on, always finding something to pick a fight about.  
It was usually drugs. Polly loved pointing out the fact that our whole generation was sex crazed drug addicts.

You should have heard her go off when Henry stopped shaving his beard, telling him he looked homeless and dirty. He kept it at trimmed stubble and it didn't even look that bad, but every time Polly yelled at him, he grew it a little more as an act of defiance.  
I didn't work that out until I read back over my old diaries. I liked his beard so much I kept track of its length. At one point I wrote " Will her yelling ever stop. I wish I had a beard. it looks really warm. like a scarf for your mouth. Henry has started looking more like a biker then a cowboy now."

A couple of months later, Henry's beard was looking more full and down to his chest. Polly had stopped looking for excuses to yell and it made Henry and I nervous, " It's like she is saving up for something big." Henry whispered at me after almost smashing one of Polly's favorite frames. Polly looked at him, swallowed and said " It's still in one piece. It doesn't matter." And walked away.

No "Why cant you look where your going." No " You're useless, all you ever do is cause trouble." Nothing.  
Henry watched himself for the next couple of days while he was at home. Then one night he didn't come home. Polly put me to bed instead of Henry. Polly didn't even read Trip his bed time story.

I could hear Polly go down the stairs and Lyman started yelling.  
" Where is he?! He was meant to be home hours ago!" Lyman said.  
Polly had a response, her voice more controlled but just as furious.  
" Of course he has to come home! He would never leave Brooke without saying goodbye and she has no god damned idea where he is either!"  
I was shocked when Trip opened my door.  
" What do you want?" I asked absorbing frustration from the fighting downstairs.  
" I didn't get my story. Where's Henry?" He asked rubbing his eyes.  
" We don't know." I said sitting up. " That's what all the yelling is about." I patted my bed, trying to be as assuring as Henry would be.  
I put my hand on his back and rubbed it gently. Trip laid down in my bed and quickly fell asleep.

I lay awake for a while, dreading the morning to come.

We were at the breakfast table. Trip, Polly, Lyman and myself, eating silently. Henry burst through the door with a smile on his face that quickly disappeared when he saw the look on Polly's face. Lyman put down his spoon and breathed in exactly as if he was going to give a monologue. Polly put her hand on his arm gently. Lyman huffed out all the words he was about to say.  
" Henry. Care to explain what you were doing out all night?" Polly asked in a light menacing voice.  
" I was just out with friends. We lost track of time and i thought it would be best if i crashed there." Henry said.  
" Are you sure it didn't have anything to do with the all night protest in the city square? You know they one all your new friends would have gone to?" Polly asked.  
" No. We never went anywhere near the city." Henry said.  
" So that is defiantly not you in the background of today's newspaper? The big picture on the cover? The one all our friends will see?" Polly had begun getting louder.  
" I-" Henry tried.  
" Did you even think? Do you ever think? We were up all night worried about you! We couldn't sleep! Is that what you want, to torment us constantly?" Poly asked rhetorically.  
" No i just-"  
" You what? Thought it would be fun? Thought it would be a good time? Thought 'here is another opportunity to mortify my parents in front of their friends because i do love watching them squirm!'" Polly was fuming.  
" Do i get to-?"  
" No. Pack your things. You want to stay out all night with out any regard for anyone else? Then get your own apartment! I want you out of my house by the end of today!" Polly yelled.

Trip had tears rolling down his face, soundlessly crying. I was pretty close to tears too.  
Henry sighed and said, " As you wish."  
He walked off and Trip and I were close behind.  
" Are you really going?" I asked desperately.  
" Polly has made up her mind. I cant stay." Henry said not looking at us as he opened draws and pulled clothes out.  
" Where will you go?" I asked.  
" I don't know Brookie. Stay with a friend for a while until i can find a place." Henry said. His hands stopped moving for a second, he shook them and his head and kept going.  
He was hiding something. I wondered why he never fought back, tried to stay a little harder. At the time I wondered if he actually wanted to leave, if it was something Trip or I did.  
I know now it was most likely he had no retort. He was at the protest, that was defiantly his picture in the paper. It was a little blurred and only his profile but you could see his distinct light blonde hair.  
He had finally pulled out a suitcase, the one we took on our holiday to Hawaii two years before.

Trip had a question eating away at him, " Will you still read my bedtime story?"  
This made Henry laugh, he turned and smiled, once again with traitor tears. He hugged Trip tight. " Sorry buddy, I cant. Brookie is going to have to read you a story now."  
" She doesn't do the voices like you." Trip said sobbing.  
" She can try." Henry said looking at me.  
I nodded. " I can-"  
" Brooke! Trip! Come down here." We heard Lyman's booming voice call.  
" Go on." Henry said letting go of Trip.  
Trip walked out wiping his eyes.  
I ran forward and hugged him tight.  
" Please don't leave me alone." I whispered.  
" I have no choice. I wish I could stay." Henry said patting my hair.  
" Take me with you!" I said. I started thinking about how quick i could pack. Henry just laughed and looked at me. It made me feel a little silly for my suggestion. " I could! I'll go pack right now." I said staring at him.  
" Brooke, you have to stay. You cant come where I'm going. Polly and Lyman will never be able to lose two children. You have to stay with Trip. Read him stories. I know you don't like them but you could try writing your own." Henry said. I was starting to come around. Tears fell down my face.  
" Trip could come too." I said softly. I was desperate now. I knew his response but i couldn't give up.  
" I love you Brooke. You know that? I will always love you." Henry said hugging me again.  
" I love you too."  
" Brooke!" Lyman boomed.  
" Go on." Henry said.  
I wiped away my tears as I walked out.

I went through the day numb, didn't feel or even think much. I went to be that night, stopping to look in Henry's empty room with a sigh. I opened my door and sitting on my bed was Henry's favorite beach boys record.  
I cried and cried and cried some more. That was the first time I felt depressed. I felt like nothing would be right again. I had a sinking feeling I would never see him or talk to him again.

I was wrong of course.

[[ Direct extract from the script of Other Desert Cities. See authors note]]

Henry has not been seen in weeks, after he is kicked out of the house. On the news, Chet Huntly is talking about an army recruiting station in long beach that has been fire bombed. The body of a janitor has been found inside, burnt beyond recognition.

At two in the morning, there is shouting by the pool, dad nose to nose with Henry, who is sobbing, pleading something.

Without warning dad slaps him across the face with a retort that sounds like the tiny fire crackers we used to buy in china town. Again, two more times, Henry stock still as Lyman hits him again and again.

By the time I get downstairs Henry is already gone. Dad looks at me, turns away and picks up the phone. Police cars are called. Henry is all over the news. Instead of looking for him, my parents have sent the LAPD to find him, no matter the consequences.

Authors note: I wrote this to be used as actual filler for the prop of the manuscript so when it gets thrown, if it accidentally goes into the audience it looks like a really manuscript of the book. The direct extract is a part the character Polly reads out.


End file.
